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Parenting as a team

Raising your kid as a team

parenting-as-a-team

Parenting is a rewarding feeling for both partners. However, along the way, it often turns out to be a bigger responsibility than what the parents anticipated.

Bringing a new-born into the world is the start of a new chapter. Raising him or her brings so many pleasant moments but with a few testing times. Sometimes it may lead to overwhelming emotions and worries, that may turn into arguments and even poor parenting.

This needs to be avoided by giving importance to parenting as a team. For this, both of you need to understand what really helps in raising a kid.

Why is parenting as a team important?

Kids are like sponges, registering everything they see and hear, learning how to use them in real life. They learn most of their behavioral patterns from their parents, and arguments can leave them scarred. They might tend to adopt the argumentative behavior in their developing years.

This will only further deteriorate the conditions causing trauma and mental issues later in life, which can easily be avoided.

Effective parenting will build a desirous character in your young one.

Some of these aspects are mentioned below:

 

Develops Confidence

Your kids can often lose confidence if they experience a non-supportive behavior amongst the two of you. It might scare them to be confident and open about things thinking of avoiding arguments.

Supportive parents often develop a positive environment, which in turn helps the kids hone their confidence level.

 

Learns Team Building Skills

When kids grow in a supportive environment with parents who back each other, they learn the importance of a team. This helps them to develop a skill of cooperation and teamwork.

They also tend to develop team-building skills, which stays with them lifelong, proving very helpful in various phases of life.

 

Builds Feeling of Gratitude

Gratitude and appreciation amongst the parents also help a lot in the character development of your kid. Such behavior helps them lead a contented life and be happy about what they have.

 

Develop Patience

Patience is a big virtue in life. Your patience with situations in the household and with each other helps to promote the same in your kids.

They learn to be patient while facing a difficult or unexpected situation.

 

Restricts Anger

It is natural for young ones to imitate what they see. Pleasant surroundings will teach them to deal with situations in a better manner compared to anger. Repeated heated discussions can make the kid follow a similar approach to other things in life.

For example: When kids don’t get a toy they want, they can imitate the angry behavior.

 

Avoids Developing Habit of taking Undue Advantage

An unhealthy relationship among parents can lead kids to learn to take advantage of the situation. They learn to talk individually to each parent to get what they want. This could further lead to arguments among the parents causing a poor parenting environment.

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How to raise a young one as a team?

Each parent out there wants their kid to learn good values and achieve the best in life.

This process starts with the parents training their young ones at an early age, imparting all the good qualities they want, and dealing with them patiently.

However, kids are exposed to a lot of variables in a multitude of environments. This enables them to pick up some undesired habits and behavior.

This might also cause disappointment and resentment for the other partner, disrupting the stability and causing disputes.

Not having a well-discussed plan can sometimes lead to unwanted outcomes. This can cause the individual parent to deal with the kids differently, causing a lot of confusion for the kid and the parents.

The whole situation can be better managed and even avoided by following a few steps given below:

 

Support each other

Both partners could have experienced life from a different perspective and grown up with extremely different parents. Thus, leading them to develop different parenting styles.

This doesn’t necessarily mean that any one of them is wrong or that one method might work better than the other.

Things to do:

• It is important that both the partners listen to each other and accept the fact that both methods have their own advantages.

• Many times you may feel that your partner could have dealt a situation better. It is always better to be patient at that moment, waiting for the right situation to discuss it later time, in the absence of the kids.

• The use of physical violence is a big no and needs immediate intervention from the other parent.

• Support each other in difficult situations and try to find a solution with a collective effort.

 

Communicate

mother-asking-for-help

Communication is the key to any relationship. Without it, there is a limited chance that a relationship can continue in a healthy manner.

Steps to follow:

• Talk to each other directly about things that bother when it comes to parenting.

• Sometimes listening works more than speaking. You don’t have to talk moreto explain about how you want to deal with a situation as a team.

• If one is still unhappy with the situation, talk to your partner politely, giving time to find out a viable solution.

Adverse Outcome: Avoiding a talk can cause resentment to build-up leading to a bigger argument and mismanagement of the situation.

It can be easily avoided keeping the communication friendly and lighter between the two of you.

 

Plan in Advance

Planning is something everybody does, whether it is about their career, or some day to day tasks.Planning should also be done on how to raise a child.

Steps to follow:

• Learn to plan ahead of time,considering all the variables. The variables you can focus can be the bedtime, food planning, scheduled time for television, computer, or other electronic devices.

• Plan, discuss, and lay some ground rules on how to move forward with specific issues that arise as parents.

For example: Discuss how you are going to deal when the kid gets bullied at school or if he/she gets into a fight or in case they disobey or refuse to let you help.

 

Split the tasks

family

There is a limit to how much a person can handle before feeling distressed or fatigued. Parenting can be enhanced by working as a team.
The teamwork helps to split the load with each other and allows the other partner to handle what is difficult for you.

Steps to follow:

• Plan and split the task amongst each other.

• Some tasks, the parents might be interested in doing together, like attending a sports match, while others might have to be tackled individually.

• In case if one cannot complete the designated task,the other can help him or her.

For example: The tasks that can be split are taking the kids to school, feeding them, bathing them, helping with the homework, attending parent-teacher meetings etc.

 

Be patient

Each parent has their own set of abilities. It is quite possible that one parent might not be able to do a specific task or might not be able to take out time on certain occasions. You both need to be extremely patient and understanding with each other to manage these issues.

Steps to follow:

• It is natural to have an argument but make sure that the problem is dealt with patience and away from the kids.

• Dealing with things with patience will teach the kids to deal with any such situations in their life in the same way.

 

Teach gratitude and kindness

teaching-kindness-to-kids

Kindness is a trait that can be difficult to find or maintain in today’s time. Starting at an early age and teaching them to be kind and respectful towards others goes a long way.

Steps to follow:

• Be kind to the other, even if you disagree on something with your partner. Consider helping each other and provide constructive feedback.

• Teach your kids to be grateful for what they have and what they receive in life.

• Teach them to wish to thank you to others for any services, gifts, or treats they receive.

• Make them aware of other people’s circumstances and how less fortunate people suffer by providing them exposure to the news.

 

Set rules and abide by them

Follow the rules set by you and teach your kid by setting an example.

Steps to follow:

• Ensure that wrong actions have consequences and that both of the parents agree upon the rules and consequences.

• Make sure that the rules apply to everybody in the household.

For example:

Use inappropriate language, or fighting is prohibited. They should be advised not to do the same or they will lose their television or playtime or will receive a cut in their pocket money.

 

Give each other free time

giving-time-to-your-partner

Parenting can be tiring, and it’s a job that doesn’t have any holidays or vacations. Wherever you go, parenting responsibilities follow, and it is only natural that one might need a break once in a while.

Steps to follow:

• Plan and provide each other with a day off (preferably each week) from the parenting responsibilities. This can help to break the pattern and give a sigh of relief to both the parents.

• This will also help ensure a peaceful and calm atmosphere.

 

Provide opportunity to kids

Kids learn a lot of things by repeating them again and again. It is, therefore, necessary that the kids receive this opportunity to practice whatever they need to learn.

Steps to follow:

• Kids need not be rewarded for every little thing they do. This helps them to register in their minds that good work reaps the rewards.

• Teach them to help around the house and give them some reward. They can help by setting up a table or by making their beds. This will slowly make them independent.

 

Dealing with emotions

Emotions can be challenging to handle for a child, and they might not understand how to react properly. It is the parent’s responsibility to teach them how to deal with it and understand its outcomes.

Steps to follow:

• Teach the kids about what is right and what is wrong to do when one is angry or sad. Make sure they are able to be patient before making a decision.

• Parents can also learn a lot about dealing with emotions together during this phase.

For example: One can ask the child to close their eyes and breathe in and out for a few seconds when they experience anger or destructive emotions.

 

Impart Confidence

One parent might be more confident and connected to the kids than the other. This doesn’t necessarily mean that the other parent should be left out.

Steps to follow:

• Give your partner confidence in being a parent and support him or her. Make sure to make him or her vital part of the process.

• Sharing confidence will improve how both the parents deal with a situation.

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Take home message

Life does not stop when partners become parents. Although they have a huge responsibility of parenting, they are still evolving and are a part of the growing process.

One can be an aggressive, assertive, or a permissive parent, but parenting is a learning process for both the parents and the children. It sets the foundation for a healthy life for the young ones.

In case things aren’t working well with the parents as a team, they always have the option to consider a counselor or other external help.

Nobody is a perfect parent, but the advantage we have is that we learn from our experiences. With every child, the parents learn something new and try to find a better way to deal with the problems.

Working as a team is a key to good parenting and a strong family foundation.

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